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Unresolved problems drain our energy.

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Our immune systems are badly affected by conflict.

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Your problems can be managed and resolved with skilled help.

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You have much more potential than your experience suggests.

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Kindness in giving creates love. Lao Tzu

There is nothing more practical than a good theory.

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About Albert Ellis
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A trained listener gives you strength.

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A leader leads by example not by Force. Sun Tzu quote

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Be an ally to those who are suffering/ TG

THINK YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS - A WEEKLY BLOG
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Outward appearances are unimportant – your heart is what truly matters. TG

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A half-baked idea is okay as long as it's in the oven. Unknown quote

S/He who knows not shame does whatever s/he likes (destructively). Egyptian proverb

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Love is the cure, for your pain will keep giving birth to more pain until you exude love for the world effortlessly .... Rumi quote

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experiences (of violence) become the psych baggage of the child (victim)… and someone must take the child through a new leaning process…

Narrative Therapy & Writing Therapeutic Narratives
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Count your blessings. English proverb

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"...marital abuse and the killing of women by their husbands are a tragedy of our society that we’re failing to control” Monty Roberts

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Two wives are murdered every week in the UK. Shame! Violence has no place in relationships.

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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Isaac Asimov

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“The child who has been loved and given quality time will have plenty of emotional resources in reserve when times are hard” #M#Roberts

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What is Cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy (#CENT)?
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“…it is clear that horses, like children, desperately want to be loved, understood and accepted”. Monty Roberts

Seven counselling specialisms
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Past and future are mental constructs and even the present slips through our hands. So what is it? Zen

Counselling and Therapy in Leeds, LS1 1PJ
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We (humans) tend to demand and not request. Monty Roberts

What is Transactional Analysis, and how is it used in CENT?
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To admit that you are wrong acknowledges that you have grown. Swift

“I wanted the horses to have a chance to live without brutality”. Monty Roberts

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A good counsellor is also a good philosopher.

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Everything’s a circle. We’re each responsible for our own actions. It will come back. Betty Lavendure, Karma and responsibility

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If a message of rejection is given to a child, we should not be surprised if s/he rejects the family and the larger society.#Monty#Roberts

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Toleration is a necessary consequence of our being human. We are all … fallible and prone to error. Voltaire, forgiveness

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Building trust is an important part of the process of ‘horse whispering’ – and in building all human relationships. humans and horses

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The first rule of education in all lands is never to say anything offensive to anyone. Voltaire

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A second opinion helps us evaluate our action plans.

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Keep a green bough in the heart and the singing birds will come. Chinese proverb

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Cruelty in childhood creates cruel adults!

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More haste, less speed. English proverb

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We must bring ourselves into balanced relationship with one another and the Earth. This requires building economies with heart. nem

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Great personal achievements are not some sudden unaccountable gain; but result from long days and nights of hard labour. Longfellow

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A new, young horse can be *persuaded* to Join-Up with its trainer; so why not a new, young child with its mother and father? persuasion

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Seven counselling specialisms
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(Wo)Man is only truly great when s/he acts from the passions. Disraeli

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Dr Johnson (1709 – 1784) said: “It’s worth a thousand pounds a year to have the habit of looking on the bright side of things”. Optimism

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Never give in to anything except to convictions of honour and good sense. Churchill

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‘Horse whispering’ is about eliminating cruelty in the training of horses. The need for ‘whispering’ is even greater among humans. NSPCC

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Never complain and never explain. Disraeli

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Eric Fromm insists that the ability to be alone, and to accept separateness, is the condition for the ability to love. K. #O’Dwyer

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The world is a looking glass and gives back to every person the reflection of their own face. William M. Thackeray,

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People will treat you as you treat them. You can prove this with the next person you meet. Winston Churchill, Karma, reciprocation

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It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. Khalil Gibran, Generosity and charity

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You determine your asuccess by comparing your accomplishments to your capabilities, not comparing yourself to others. Zig Ziglar

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The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found out how to serve. Albert Schweitzer, service

Everything’s a circle. We’re each responsible for our own actions. It will come back. Betty Lavendure Karma and responsibility

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I am grateful for all of my problems because solving them helped me to grow. J.C. Penney gratitude for challenges

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Dr Johnson (1709 – 1784) said: “It’s worth a thousand pounds a year to have the habit of looking on the bright side of things”. Optimism

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4. Improve your communication skills and succeed with people...
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Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. Henry James

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Examine the events in your life for patterns. Taro Gold

CENT Paper No.1(d) - On the conceptual errors of Frank Bond and Windy Dryden (1996)...
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To have some deep feeling about Buddhism isn't the point; we just do what we should do, like eating and sleeping. This is Buddhism, Suzuki

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The horses are talking … just listen. Monty Roberts, horse whisperer

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"#Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Mark Twain quotation

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Buddha-babble blocks the Way. Ikkyu

What is Counselling? freud, jung, berne, ellis, beck, bowlby, buddha
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Sow an act and u reap a habit. Sow a habit and u reap a character. Sow a character and u reap a destiny." Napoleon Hill success quotes

Pt.3 of 18 Principles of Couples Therapy - Principles 7 to 9...
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Everyone must be responsible for their own actions and the consequences thereof. Roberts

Eighteen Principles of Couples Therapy: Principles 10-12
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A person who does things that count, doesn't usually stop to count them.

1. Manage your anger better...
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Disease is a consolidated mental attitude, and it is only necessary to treat the mind and the disease will disappear. Dr Bach quote

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Every human being has the propensity to be an upstanding citizen. Greg Evans

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It is a teacher’s duty to create an environment in which the student can learn. Monty Roberts (after Carl Rogers)

Past and future are mental constructs and even the present slips through our hands. So what is it??

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Life is as fleeting as a rainbow, a flash of lightening, a star at dawn. Knowing this, how can you quarrel? Kornfield

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It is cowardice to perceive what is right but not to do it. Confucius quote

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#journal writing; horse whispering; completing emotions

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No guts, no gain. Roberts on courage

Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

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Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant. RL Stevenson quotations

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You only lose what you cling to.

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Everyone has the right to fail. Roberts

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A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it's better than no inspiration at all.

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The lotus flower blooms most beautifully from the deepest and thickest mud. wise words

The truth is to be lived, not mouthed. Zen quote

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What we think, we become.

There is no such thing as teaching, only learning.

If you can’t find the truth right where you are, where else do you think you will find it? Jack Kornfield quote

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Think your way to happiness
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We do not see things as they are. We see them as *we* are. The Talmud, perception

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Violence is for the violator, never for the victim. Roberts

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What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful. Dali Lama quote

A good trainer can hear a horse speak to him/her. A *great* trainer can hear a horse whisper. Monty Roberts

Counselling Links & Resources
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A ship should not ride on a single anchor, nor life on a single hope. Epictetus quote

If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people. Virginia Woolf quote

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There are seasons in your life, as in nature. Bountiful and barren; warm and cold; becoming and declining. Face them all bravely. Trungpa

‘#Diets and exercise won’t keep you young. As you think, so shall you be’. JM and ageism PMA

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The ABCs of REBT applied to Anxiety
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Enormous power is given unto you in this life. Your limits are beyond your wildest imaginings. CIM PMA

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‘You grow old when you cease to dream and lose interest in life’. JM and ageism PMA

REBT and Research
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You must accept the cards that life deals to u, but u alone must decide how to play those cards in order to win the game of life. Voltaire

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Information Pack regarding face-to-face counselling services...
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‘The most productive years of your life can be from 65 to 95’. Joseph Murphy is JM PMA

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1/3rd of all sorrow is unavoidable, because of the human condition. The other 2/3rds is home made and can be eliminated. Aldous Huxley

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What irritates us most about others is often what we dislike most about ourselves. TG

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‘You are needed. Some of the greatest writers, artists, philosophers...etc, did their best work after they were 80 years of age’. JM

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People become what they expect themselves to become. Gandhi

Stoic Philosophy for Counsellors
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What my counselling and therapy clients gain
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As water carves through stone, those who persevere will win. TG

Dickens: “Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.” quote

There may be nothing more treacherous than false knowledge. TG quote

“All my best thoughts were stolen by the ancients." Ralph Waldo Emerson quote

The CENT Stress Book -#stress management
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General Counselling Service
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Current copy of the ABC Newsletter...
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Zen Buddhist
ideas used in CENT counselling
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The wisest among us often have the least to say. wisdom quotes

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The second (popular) #e-book on Cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy
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Counselling processes need the support of Attachment theory...
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When you meditate, do not try to shut the world out. All the outer sounds are part of the meditation. Zen

Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf. Native American proverb

I-CENT Publications: articles, papers and #e-books
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Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Theodore Roosevelt

What is Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (#REBT)?
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Counselling and Therapy in Hebden Bridge and Halifax, West Yorkshire
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Think your way to happiness and wellbeing http://ping.fm/uorNB

What is Cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy (#CENT)?
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Happy people are healthier, live longer, have better relationships and are more successful. Choose happiness.

Thru silence we become aware of our pain – in our minds and in our bodies. Silence allows us to see it, face it, release it. #G Norris

Seven counselling specialisms
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What is Counselling?
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If you want to be happier, it helps if you live in a more equal society! http://ping.fm/hzY0q

Who Controls You? An article on REBT by Wayne Froggatt http://ping.fm/DqmYf

ABC Coaching & Counselling Services, by Telephone and Face-#to-Face. http://ping.fm/8VFzz

The more you care, the stronger you can be.

16 videos on counselling and therapy http://ping.fm/vGpum

Acceptance: You cannot solve a problem until you acknowledge that you have one and accept responsibility for solving it. Zig Ziglar

S/He who makes a success of living is the 1 who seeks his/her goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly – that is dedication. DeMille

Anger Management Counselling - Handout 1(a) - http://ping.fm/rTxUo

Gandhi: Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or small, has its stages of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle and a victory…

Build success by defeating procrastination...
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Do humans have free will? An essay by Jim Byrne http://ping.fm/VtnCV

"The great (wo)man is one who never loses his or her child’s heart." Mencius Chinese Philosopher

Blog attachments on self confidence for women, and stress and anxiety diet.
http://ping.fm/BiHzr

Carl Rogers and Albert Ellis - on positive regard and self acceptance: http://ping.fm/7Blj8

What we think, we become. wisdom and wealth quotes

CENT Paper No.2(b): Justice and Fairness in REBT and CENT http://ping.fm/gim9u

Subscribed to claykoh http://ping.fm/UMHJA

Subscribed to xshadowfearx http://ping.fm/fYP7C

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How to build happiness into your life: http://ping.fm/YIfuM
#thinking and writing exercises

CENT Paper No.10: The Story of Relationship
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#narrative therapy illustration

Whoever gives advice to the ignorant are themselves in need of advice. Buddhist quote

CENT Paper No.3: An Introduction to the Windows Model http://ping.fm/TSlRN reframing, social construction

The Law of Attraction – loa - http://ping.fm/fhqqS

S/He who permits him/her-self to tell a lie once finds it much easier to do it a second and third time, till at length it becomes habitual

Wise people talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. Plato

CENT Paper No.6: How to analyze autobiographical narratives in CENT http://ping.fm/mZPf6

Buddhist insights: The greatest achievement is selflessness. The greatest worth is self-mastery...

Zen Tigers and Strawberry Moments http://ping.fm/UomKm

CENT Paper No.5: The Status of Autobiographical Narratives and Stories
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Beyond REBT - The birth of CENT – CENT Paper No.1(b)
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Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. Mother Teresa

Shrinking the bad wolf: "...in a word they watch themselves as if they were an enemy and lying in ambush". Epictetus quotes

To be kind to all, to like many and love a few; & 2 b loved is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. Mary Stuart quote

More equal societies work better for everyone – the Equality Trust: http://ping.fm/tt9XF

A Story of Origins - by Dr Jim Byrne – CENT Paper No.4 - http://ping.fm/OFHLo
#narrative counselling

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. Ralph Waldo Emerson saying

Asking the client for a problem to work on... in REBT http://ping.fm/Y9S4x

Assessment and teaching in REBT http://ping.fm/TZXAe

Developing an effective new philosophy
http://ping.fm/LkNrf

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. #G#B Shaw quotation

Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment. Horace quote

New material on couples therapy: http://ping.fm/Y2yFs
#marriage counselling

Life is like playing a violin solo in public, and learning the instrument as one goes on. Samuel Butler quote

Have you seen this weekend's Happiness Blog? http://ping.fm/G9IS2

The obstacle is the path. zen quote

When an emotional injury takes place, the body begins a process as natural as the healing of a physical wound. Melba Cosgrove

REBT and Research http://ping.fm/PEkW6

You never know what’s going to happen yesterday. Jack Lynch, history teacher

More Unsolicited Client Testimonials: from counseling clients http://ping.fm/pcZdl

Let go of whatever holds you back. TG

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Client Testimonials: Article about successful couples therapy outcome http://ping.fm/R1ezv

Maintain your composure under any circumstance. serenity calm happiness

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. Rachel Carlson

ISMHO Pros and Cons http://ping.fm/5rO0J

Anger Management Coaching - Part 2 http://ping.fm/qk9Bg

Remove the internal, emotional hooks that attract you to painful situations.

Jim Byrne and Cognitive therapy http://ping.fm/aalEJ

Become a master of words. TG

Misunderstandings about the simple A>B>C model in REBT http://ping.fm/7cwYy ct cbt rebt

What kinds of counselling and therapy clients do I help? http://ping.fm/Ngxms

Anger Management Article http://ping.fm/YeR1G

The Happiness Blog reviews serious books on happiness, attachment, stoicism, etc. : http://ping.fm/jr47f

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Goethe quotations

To become happier, do not try to reform your outer life. Reform your inner life to be happy.

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Philosophy, Happiness and Success http://ping.fm/zR34v

The world breaks everyone and afterwards many are strong at the broken places. Hemingway

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Never give up, for that is just the place and time tat the tide will turn. Harriet Beecher Stowe

Counselling and Therapy in Edinburgh, EH1 1SD
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To change our lives, we must first change our minds. TG

Current copy of the ABC Newsletter...
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With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.

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Be concerned more with *how* you live than with how long you live. TG

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“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” wisdom reading and writing

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There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness. Marguerite Gardiner

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Our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop (our) internal powers… Stephen Covey quote

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Counselling processes need the support of Attachment theory...
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Without couage, wisdom bears no fruit. Baltasar Gracian

Public lectures in Hebden Bridge
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Everything abides by the law of cause and effect. TG

What is Cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy (#CENT)?
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Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. Napoleon Hill quote

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What is Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (#REBT)?
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Life is a roller coaster. You will have your ups and downs, unless you fall off.

You are what you believe. TG

Believe those who are seeking the truth; but doubt those who claim to find it. Andre Gide quote

When you are feeling down, you need a helping hand, and good thoughts inside of you to counterbalance the bad thoughts. John-Roger

Counselling supervision services...
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If you understand, things are just as they are; If you do not understand, things are just as they are. Zen koan

PERFINK YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS A WEEKLY BLOG (Perfink = to perceive / feel / think). http://ping.fm/L3TKe

When life seems overwhelming, take things an hour at a time. Find comfort in the little triumphs. #L. Woodruff quote

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You cannot hold on to satisfaction. Werner Erhard

Happiness is like a sunbeam which the least shadow intercepts. Chinese proverb

The current ABC Newsletter is now posted: http://ping.fm/D0PQJ
#counselling and therapy resources & research

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. Confucius

People travel to wonder at the height of mountains & the waves of the sea...and they pass by themselves without wondering! St Augustine

A one page counselling solution for depression...
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Life's not the way it’s supposed to be but the way it is. How you cope with it is what makes the difference. Virginia Satir acceptance

Seven counselling specialisms
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Have the courage to get back up over and over again if you have fallen.

Quick Intro to the ###x Windows Model of CENT - frame theory
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Develop a strong belief in the law of cause and effect: the conviction that we all shape our own lives (by our thoughts). law of karma

7. Improve your self confidence, and feel better about yourself...
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Life is not about holding good cards but rather about playing those you hold well. living efectively

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Happiness begins for us when we have put an end to our pretensions – for they bring us nothing but pain and discomfort. Chamfort

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Confidence does not come from always being right but rather from not fearing to be wrong. Peter T. McIntyre

6. Develop better relationships with your loved ones...
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A major function of wisdom is to discriminate between good and evil. Cicero quote

Change your opinions, but keep your principles; change your leaves, and keep intact your roots. Victor Hugo quote

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#journal writing

Couples Therapy and Marriage Guidance
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Accept praise and believe it as readily as you would criticism. TG

A Brief Introduction to the theory of the Good and Bad Wolf states...
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There is hunger for bread, & hunger for love & kindness, ..., & this latter is the great poverty & suffering.. Mother Teresa quote

5. Reduce your stress level...
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In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, but the life in your years. Lincoln quote

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More equal societies work better for everyone – the Equality Trust: http://ping.fm/emIEF

The ABCs of REBT applied to anger
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4. Improve your communication skills and succeed with people...
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The greatest patience is humility. The greatest effort is not concerned with results

Improve your health: Health benefits of vegetarian diet. http://tinyurl.com/yfqjn3f

16 videos on counselling and therapy
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Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. Rodin

Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance. Samuel Johnson

CENT Paper No.1(d) - On the conceptual errors of Frank Bond and Windy Dryden (1996)...
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The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go. The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.

3. Get over your depression and extreme sadness...
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The ABC Newsletter is up and running: htp://www.abc-counselling.com/id289.html

The six main counselling and therapy services
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With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate ... Courage is the foundation of integrity. Nair

CENT Paper No.12: Tribute to Albert Ellis, and parting of the ways
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Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances. JD Walters quote

2. Reduce social anxiety; performance anxiety; interview anxiety; exam anxiety, etc
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What is Counselling? freud, jung, berne, ellis, beck, bowlby, buddha
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Pt.3 of 18 Principles of Couples Therapy - Principles 7 to 9...
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To become happy under unfavourable conditions requires you to learn an empowering philosophy of life. Dr Jim Byrne

It is easier to be happy under favourable conditions. Dr Jim Byrne

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude. Dale Carnegie quote

Eighteen Principles of Couples Therapy: Principles 10-12
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1. Manage your anger better...
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'(Wo)Man cannot discover new oceans unless s/he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.'

How to Create, Build or Restore a Successful Sex-Love Relationship
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Choose: Dedication to reality at all costs: M Scott Peck

ABC Coaching & Counselling Services, by Telephone and Face-to-Face. Established 1998
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If that's the way it is, then that's the way it is. Albert Ellis, dedication to reality

Whatever you resist, persists. Werner Erhard

You have got to learn how to come to terms with reality. Dr Jim Byrne

The more enlightening a teaching, the more difficult it is to believe, and even more difficult to practice. TG

Therapy after Ellis, Berne, Freud and the Buddha
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When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever give up! Winston Churchill quote

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment. Jalal-Udddin Rumi

Counselling and Therapy in London, Leeds and Manchester
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We must learn to live together as brothers and sisters or we are going to perish together as fools.

Honour has not to be won; it must only not be lost. Schopenhauer

Counselling and Therapy in Hebden Bridge and Halifax, West Yorkshire
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Many of life's failures are (wo)men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Reduce your stress level... http://ping.fm/zGYsv

Seek not to have that everything be as you wish, but that it should happen as it actually does happen, and you will be serene. Epictetus

43 videos on counselling and therapy by Dr Jim Byrne http://ping.fm/PZM6n

The Buddha’s middle way is the course of not clinging to any experience, state, or view. It holds on to nothing .... Buddhism quotes

New video on ‘How to build a successful sex-love relationship’ http://ping.fm/5Oexq

The only gift is a portion of thyself. Ralph Waldo Emerson.

What is Cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy (CENT)?
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In spite of all our wanderings happiness is always found close to and among objects which lie within our immediate reach. Bulwer.

What is Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (#REBT)?
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Get over your depression and extreme sadness... http://ping.fm/5noeK

Beware evil friends, for they can destroy not just your body, but also your mind! TG

The idea that life and death are separate is the reasoning of dreams. Nichiren quote

In one’s family, respect and listening are the source of harmony. Kornfield

No one can (reliably) transform (all of) external life. But anyone can transform his or her impressions of it. Nicoll

Equality affects mental health: http://ping.fm/fGd25

Manage your anger better... http://ping.fm/yp7XO

Change happens when the mind & heart open.

You have to think anyway, so what not think Equality, liberty and fraternity? Dr Jim Byrne

Current copy of the ABC Newsletter... counselling and therapy http://ping.fm/JOiXz