Links & Resources
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If you want to have a really powerful relationship with somebody, you have got to stop ‘making them wrong’. Werner Erhard insight

Contact Us at ABC Coaching
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Those who maintain a clear sense of purpose in life are strengthened by hardship.

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Successful relationships are based on agreed on goals. Werner Erhard relationships insights

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One thing I have learned is that attitudes shouldn't be underestimated in the assessment of the healing equation. Norman Cousins quote

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A relationship is an understanding and being aware of another person’s way of being. Werner Erhard, relationships insights

REBT and Research
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S/He who knows others is wise; s/he who knows him/herself is enlightened. TG

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If you want your marriage to survive, work to maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative moments. John Gottman, marriage relationshp

Moment after moment, everything comes out of nothingness. This is the true joy of life. Shunryu Suzuki

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Man (and woman) is asked to make of him or her self what s/he is supposed to become to fulfil his or her destiny. Paul Tillich

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Your behaviour when nobody is watching reveals your true character. TG

‘Change your thoughts and you change your destiny’. JM PMA

‘#Change your thoughts and you change your destiny’. JM PMA

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‘Look at your fears. Learn to hold them up to the light of reason. Learn to laugh at your fears. That is the best medicine.’ JM PMA

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Life is not so much about solving problems as working on them, to preserve us from stultification and petrifaction. CG Jung

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The most powerful thing you can do to change the world, is to change you own beliefs about life to something more positive… Shakti Gawain

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Zen Buddhist
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Righteousness in the heart leads to beauty in the character, harmony at home, order in the nation and peace in the world. Confucius

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You shall be free indeed when your life is girdled by care, want and grief, yet you rise above them naked and unbound. Khalil Gibran

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Life is what it is, you cannot change it, but you can change yourself. Hazrat Inayat Khan

I-CENT Publications: articles, papers and #e-books
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...a surgeon aged 84 years ...operates every morning, visits patients in the afternoon, and writes ...in the evening. JM and ageism PMA

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There are seasons in your life, .... Bountiful and barren; warm and cold; becoming and declining. Face them all bravely. Trungpa

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Courage without conscience is a wild beast. RG Ingersoll quote

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Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. WJ Bryan quotations

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Honour has not to be won: it must only not be lost. Schopenhauer quote

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“#Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” Seneca,

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Buddha-babble blocks the Way. Ikkyu

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Disease is a consolidated mental attitude, and it is only necessary to treat the mind and the disease will disappear. Dr Bach quote

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Every human-being has the propensity to be an upstanding citizen. Greg Evans

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It is cowardice to perceive what is right but not to do it. Confucius quote

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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant. RL Stevenson quotations

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The lotus flower blooms most beautifully from the deepest and thickest mud. wise words

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The truth is to be lived, not mouthed. Zen quote

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A ship should not ride on a single anchor, nor life on a single hope. Epictetus quote

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If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people. Virginia Woolf quote

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Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants. Epicurus, ancient Greek philosopher

"You are the only one who can use your ability. It is an awesome responsibility." Zig Ziglar quote

Patience is the companion of wisdom. St Augustine of Hippo quote

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Thru silence we become aware of our pain – in our minds and in our bodies. Silence allows us to see it, face it, release it. #G Norris

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"The great (wo)man is one who never loses his or her child’s heart." Mencius Chinese Philosopher

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What we think, we become. wisdom and wealth quotes

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When everything is seen as One, we return to the Source, and stay where we have always been. Seng-t’san zen quote

"The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." - Voltaire

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Life is like playing a violin solo in public, and learning the instrument as one goes on. Samuel Butler quote

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The obstacle is the path. zen quote

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Remove the internal, emotional hooks that attract you to painful situations.

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Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Goethe quotations

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“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” wisdom reading and writing

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Our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop (our) internal powers… Stephen Covey quote

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Those who have not asked the question are not ready to accept the answer.

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You only lose what you cling to. Let go of your big toe! :-) zen

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Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience is a still, small voice.

We so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.

Nothing happens unless first we dream. Carl Sandburg

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Enlightenment is beyond concepts. No one has ever attained it. Ying-an zen quote

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Serenity is the secret of beauty and the real substance of all art. Herman Hess

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Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance. Samuel Johnson

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The experience (of enlightenment) is not the goal of Zen endeavour, for the will to achieve defeats itself. Christmas Humphries

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Strive to learn from noble people. TG

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A (wo)man’s wealth..is the good that s/he does in this world to his or her fellows. Mohammad

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Zen is understanding that the separate self is an illusion.

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Beauty endures only for as long as it can be seen; goodness, beautiful today, will remain so tomorrow. Sappho

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Delusion is not being aware of your fundamental mind. Enlightenment is realizing you fundamental essence. Mazu

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Just as we cannot see our own faces without looking into a mirror, we cannot know ourselves without looking at our relationships.

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Of all strategies, to know when to quit may be the best. Chinese proverb

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Genuine joy grows not from contemplation, not from riches and not from fame, but from work that has its own inner value. Wilfred Grenfel

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Let go of anger – it is an acid that burns away the delicate layers of your happiness.

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Let you hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish. Ovid

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Thought we often live unconsciously, on automatic pilot, every one of us can learn to be awake. It just takes practice. Kornfield

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A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.

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In the book of life every page has 2 sides: one is filled with our plans, goals and wishes, but providence writes on the other Nisami

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Everything that happens and everything that befalls us has a meaning, but it is often difficult to recognize it. Nisami

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Do not blindly believe what others say, even the Buddha. See for yourself what brings contentment, clarity and peace. That is the path to follow. Kornfield

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When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found. Sufi aphorism

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Develop a profound belief in the law of cause and effect – the empowering conviction that we all ultimately direct our own lives.

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Never let life’s hardships disturb you. After all, no one can avoid problems, not even saints and sages. Nichiren quotes

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Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. Calvin Coolidge

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Anguish is ego. Ego is: "I’m better or worse than others. If only I had more wealth, fame, sex, enlightenment or a better spouse or house."

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It’s not whether you get knocked down. It’s whether you get up again. Vince Lombardi

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People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.

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There is no failure except in no longer trying. Elbert Hubbard

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Rather than defeat your enemies, seek to transform them into allies.

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TA eric berne, ego states, scripts

The more you care, the stronger you can be.

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Shrinking the bad wolf: "...in a word s/he watches him/herself as if s/he were an enemy and lying in ambush". Epictetus quotes

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Your dream is possible. TG

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. #G#B Shaw

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The greatest evil one has to fight constantly every minute of the day, until one dies, is the worse part of oneself. Patrick McGoohan

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There never has been, nor will there ever be, a life free from problems! TG

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.

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It is not the presence of problems but how we tackle them that determines the quality of our lives. TG

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The choices we make in thought, word, and deed inevitably return to us in kind. law of karma

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Lasting goodness works at the pace of a snail. TG

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You never know what’s going to happen yesterday. Jack Lynch, history teacher

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The future ain't what it used to be. Yogi Berra

Let go of whatever holds you back. TG

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Become a master of words. TG

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To become happier, do not try to reform your outer life. Reform your inner life to be happy.

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Be concerned more with how you live than with how long you live. TG

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Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. Napoleon Hill quote

Many times, the best way to fight is not to fight at all. TG

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Success in life comes not from holding a good hand, but in playing a poor hand well. Denis Waitley

The hero is one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for (wo)men to see by.

Remember your debts of gratitude. TG

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The heart is like a garden. It can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there? Kornfield

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We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full. Marcel Proust

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The ability to work through pain and hardships kills all weakness

A thousand fibres connect us with our fellow humans. Our actions are the causes, and they come back to us as effects. #H Melville

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. Anatole France

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Ask, and it will be given you; seek, And you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Luke 11: 9

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It is from your peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises. CIM

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. Chinese proverb

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Peace of mind is clearly an internal matter. I must begin with your own thoughts, and then extend outward. CIM

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If you are not getting as much from life as you want to, then examine the state of your enthusiasm.

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Your happiness depends on three things: Your will, your ideas about your life, and the use you make of your ideas. Epictetus

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Dare to be wise: when you begin you are already halfway there. Horace

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Better than a hundred years of idleness is one day spent in determination. The Dhammapada

You will fail in life but to get over your failures makes you stronger in your future

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. Albert Einstein

Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.

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The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Bertrand Russell

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By attempting the impossible one can attain the highest level of the possible. August Strindberg

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Three things can not hide for long: the Moon, the Sun and the Truth. Siddhartha Gautama

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Nature has planted in our minds an insatiable longing to see the truth. Cicero quotation

We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. Samuel Smiles

You cannot find peace by avoiding life. Virginia Woolf

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What are you? What is there in the entire universe which is not you? Guangfan, zen quote

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To be where we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life. RL Stevenson quote

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As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

The key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger.

People are scared to empty their minds fearing they will be engulfed by the void. But their mind is the void! Huang-po, zen quote

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What is the use of love, good fortune, knowledge and riches, if you do not give yourself time to enjoy them in leisure?

Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.

If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. Thich Nhat Hanh

To conquer a joy is more valuable than giving oneself up to a sorrow. Andre Gide

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With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate ... Courage is the foundation of integrity. Nair

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. Victor Hugo

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If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. Texan Philosophy

Nature has planted in our minds an insatiable longing to see the truth. Cicero quote

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To change your life you must master the beliefs that dominate your mind. TG

We think and behave within the limits of our beliefs. TG

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What is Transactional Analysis (#TA), and how is it used in CENT?
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You cannot hold on to satisfaction. Werner Erhard

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Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.

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No-one can forge a life-time of happiness, only ever the happiness of the moment.

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It only takes one person to change your life – YOU!

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The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one has to do. James Barrie quote

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What orators lack in depth they make up for in length. Montesquieu

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You can do almost anything if you have enthusiasm.

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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

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Let go of your attachment to the outcome. TG

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First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others. Thomas A. Kempis quote

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When we create peace and harmony and balance in our minds, we will find it in our lives. Louise Hay quotations

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Be careful what you fill the voids in your life with.

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With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate ... Courage is the foundation of integrity. Nair

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We must learn to live together as brothers or we are going to perish together as fools.

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A single rose can be my garden; a single friend, my world. Leo Buscaglia quote

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The function of wisdom is to discriminate between good and evil. Cicero quote

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It only takes one person to change your life – YOU!

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Words have the power to destroy or heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change the world. Jack Kornfield

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Although the flames of jealousy are directed towards others, it is the jealous person who is consumed by the fire. TG

A (wo)man can only do what s/he can do. if s/he does that each day s/he can sleep well and do it again the next day. Albert Schweitzer

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'(Wo)Man cannot discover new oceans unless s/he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.'

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Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment. Jalal-Udddin Rumi

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment. Jalal-Udddin Rumi

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We must learn to live together as brothers or we are going to perish together as fools.

The only gift is a portion of thyself. Ralph Waldo Emerson.

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In spite of all our wanderings happiness is always found close to and among objects which lie within our immediate reach. Bulwer.

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A single rose can be my garden; a single friend, my world. Leo Buscaglia quote

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Life isn’t about what happens to use; it’s about how we perceive what happens to us. TG

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Strive most to understand what you fear most. TG

The function of wisdom is to discriminate between good and evil. Cicero quote

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"Never give up on the things that make you smile."

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Truth has the power to dispel the darkness of ignorance – a candle can light a cave that's been dark for a million years. TG

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‘There is no coming to consciousness without pain’. #C.G. Jung quote

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No pleasure is comparable to the standing upon the vantage ground of truth. Francis Bacon

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"Every (wo)man should have a built-in automatic crap detector operating inside him/her." Ernest Hemingway quotation

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False imagination teaches that light and shade, long and short, etc are different and separate, but they are not independent of each other.

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Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Khalil Gibran

Nature has planted in our minds an insatiable longing to see the truth. Cicero quote

It only takes one person to change your life – YOU!

‘Surmounting difficulty is the crucible that forms the character’ Anthony Robbins

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Let go of your attachment to the outcome. TG

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One never loves enough. Aldous Huxley

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Live every act fully, as if it were your last. Jack Kornfield quote

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We carry within us the wonders we seek outside of us. Thomas Browne

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Though I speak with the tongues of (wo)men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

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When you cannot lift something, you might think it is too heavy - but pehaps it is you who are too weak?

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If we all did the things we're capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. T A Edison

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‘It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan’. Eleanor Roosevelt quote

Never seek happiness outside yourself. Taro Gold quote (#TG)

Fall seven times, stand up eight. Japanese proverb

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"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become." Buddha quote

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Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Psalm 30: 5

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Fame, material wealth, and social status do not guarantee happiness; in fact they often hinder it. TG

There are three ingredients in the good life: learning, earning and yearning. Christopher Morley

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'The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand.'

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"The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand". Frank Herbert

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A student told Suzuki: "I do not know the 1st principle of life". “I do not know”, said Suzuki, “IS the first principle”. zen quote

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The morning glory which blooms for an hour, Differs not at heart from the giant pine, Which lives for a thousans years. zen poem

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Behold but One in all things; it is the second that leads you astray. Kabir.

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"No (wo)man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and s/he's not the same (wo)man". Heraclites quote

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A great mentor is one who aims for others' abilities to surpass his/her own. TG

The highest form of wisdom is kindness. The Talmud

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‘Surround yourself with people, colour, sounds and work that nourishes you’ Sark quote

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Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside wakes. C_G. Jung quote

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Our past and our future simultaneously exist in our present. TG

People are like stained-glass windows. ...when darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. EKR

A dream about a shadow is (wo)man: yet, when some life-given splendour falls, a glory of light comes over them and their life is sweet.

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#attachment theory, moral philosophy, Stoicism

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Flowing water never goes bad. Chinese proverb

How can I grasp it? No, don't grasp it. Whatever remains when there is no more grasping is the self. zen quote

People travel to wonder at the height of mountains & the waves of the sea...and they pass by themselves without wondering! St Augustine

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The more enlightening a teaching, the more difficult it is to believe, and even more difficult to practice. TG

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When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.

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Honour has not to be won; it must only not be lost. Schopenhauer

The Buddha’s middle way is the course of not clinging to any experience, state, or view. It holds on to nothing .... Buddhism quotes

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No one can (reliably) transform (all of ) external life. But anyone can transform his or her impressions of it. Nicoll

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Happiness depends on what you can give not what you get, Happiness quote

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Although the flames of jealousy are directed towards others, it is the jealous person who is consumed by the fire. TG